When my son was a baby, I remember reading an article which claimed that teaching babies sign language would speed their language development. As an insecure young mom, the idea of having a super-smart baby appealed to me, so we tried it. It wasn't long before our baby was proficient at several signs. I still remember him sitting in his high chair touching his tiny fingers together repeatedly, signing "MORE! MORE!" (I think we overdid it a little -- now he's almost eleven and never stops talking).
Just yesterday, we returned from a week's vacation. I think the theory behind vacations is that you are supposed to come back rested. I always come back feeling depressed. I want to stay on vacation. I want MORE.
I have a rather unhealthy relationship with food. When I'm eating something tasty, even before I swallow the last bite, I'm already thinking, "I want MORE!"
When I finish a good book, I often feel sad. I want MORE.
I love a Facebook game called Bejeweled Blitz. There is a certain thrill in the crashing explosions as you match colorful jewels into tidy lines. I like watching my name crawl up the high score tally each week. But even if I have a spectacular game and land in the number one spot for the week, I often click through for "just one more" game. I want MORE. (This is just one of the reasons why I refuse to gamble -- I don't trust my self-control).
Earlier this summer I enjoyed a hike in the woods by myself. But I found myself getting frustrated, because I knew that all too soon I would have to return. There just wasn't enough time to truly relax. I wanted MORE!
In so many ways, I am like that tiny baby. I am clenching my fists together at God and signing, "MORE! MORE!"
I wonder what He is thinking when He sees me like that? Is He ashamed of my gluttony? Of my selfish ways? Perhaps. But I don't remember looking at my son in that way when he waved his little baby hands my way.
So, I'm hoping that maybe -- just maybe -- He smiles an all-knowing Fatherly smile. Does He long to scoop me up in His arms and say, "Ah, you think THAT is good, child? Just wait until you see the treasures I have waiting for you when you finally get home!"
While I try to fix my mind on that, I will continue to pray for contentment. Do hear me God? I want MORE contentment. (Just kidding. I'm really just praying that He will shape my heart so that it longs for more of Him and less of me. See John 3:13, "He must become greater, I must become less.")
So, what is it that has you signing, "MORE?"